How Old Is Grandma Really?

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother. He asked her what she thought about the shootings at school, the computer age, and just things in general.

Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute as I was born before:

• television
• penicillin
• polio shots
• frozen food
• Xerox
• contact lenses
• frisbees and
• the pill.

There were no credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.

People had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, or clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

Your grandfather and I got married first, then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir." And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and everyman with a title,"Sir."

We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgement, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong, and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evening and weekends—not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the president's speeches on our radios.

If you saw anything with "made in Japan" on it, it was junk.

The term "making out" referred to how you did on a school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a soda were all a nickel. If you wanted to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail one letter and two postcards. 

You could buy a new Ford coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

• "grass" was mowed.
• "coke" was a cold drink.
• "pot" was something your mother cooked in.
• "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
• "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office.
• "chip" meant a piece of wood.
• "hardware" was found in a hardware store.
• "software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us "old and confused," and say there is a generation gap. How old do you think I am? 

I bet you have an old lady in mind...you are in for a shock! This is pretty scary and a bit sad also.

This woman would only be 59 years old.