How You Can Help During A Health Crisis

We all know the feeling of helplessness when a friend or family member experiences a health crisis.  We want to reach out and help.  We all say the same thing:  “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help”.  We mean those words, but rarely know how to follow through on them.  We often feel guilty for not helping, then get distracted with our own life challenges.

So what can you do to really help a friend or family member going through breast cancer treatment or any other health crisis?  Here are some tips to get you started:

•    Think about what your friend will NOT be able to do during treatment:  walk   the dog, make dinner, take their kids to practice, decorate for Christmas, cut the  lawn, pick up groceries, drive to doctor’s appointments, etc.  Enlist the help of others who are close to your friend and brainstorm ideas. 

•    Choose a specific task that you can easily help organize and make them an offer they cannot refuse.  For example:  “I know it will be difficult for you to take    your child to baseball practice on Tuesdays.  Can I help by picking him up from school and bringing him home afterwards?”

•    Preparing meals is often a major task, especially after surgery.  Offer to set up a caring calendar.  Click here for the website.  A good friend of mine set up a     caring calendar for my family after my bilateral mastectomy.   I will be eternally grateful to all of the friends and family who prepared or picked up meals and left    them on a cooler on my front porch while I rested during the day.  You can also mail a gift card to a local restaurant that delivers. 

•    Offer to take your friend to doctor’s appointments.  Give them the option for you to wait in the waiting room for privacy or take notes during the visit if they are comfortable with you in the room.

•    Helping with house cleaning and laundry is another big one that is often overlooked.  My mom helped me with both of these tasks and I also received help from  “Cleaning For A Reason”.  They offer four free house cleanings to breast cancer patients going through treatment.  Click here for their website.  It has helped me relax and recover, knowing that my house is clean.

•    Offer to visit with the patient.  Some people may enjoy a visit at home while others may prefer to go out for lunch.  Let them take the lead during conversation...if they want to discuss their diagnosis/treatment/side effects/etc for an hour, just listen.  If they want to talk about anything but their cancer, just listen.  Most importantly, don’t overstay your welcome.  I loved a visit from friends but would tire out easily after surgery.  I always appreciated when they recognized that I was tired, gave hug me and left, so that I could rest. 

•    Send a card or a little gift.  I have received cards from all over the nation during my treatment.  My favorite aunt sends me one card a week...without fail.  I have also received cards from people that I do not know well.  They always bring a smile to my face.  

My advice to all of you wanting to make a difference for a friend going through a health crisis:  JUST DO IT!  Don’t wait...make them an offer they can’t refuse and make it happen.  You will help the patient feel loved and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you have a made a difference for your friend during a challenging time.

Thanks for reading!

Beverly  McKee
The Breast Cancer Warrior

For more information about The Breast Cancer Warrior or if you know a 40 year breast cancer survivor, please visit my website at www.breastcancerwarrior.org.

Watch my video to learn how I became the Breast Cancer Warrior by clicking here.

You can follow me on Facebook and Twitter for the latest updates about my journey through breast cancer and the latest studies about breast cancer prevention and treatment options.