My Sunday travel section has a full color ad about skiing vacations. Now, there is a contradiction in terms. If you're hurling yourself off the side of a mountain, that's not a vacation, that's a death wish. The very thought of a ski vacation makes me want to turn up the heat and put on another pair of socks. 

Luring winter tourists for skiing and other outdoor pursuits might cause some western states to change their state mottos. Montana's is currently “Big sky country,” but a more appropriate one might be called "Come freeze your butte off in Butte, Montana."

Mile-high Colorado's slogan might be “Welcome to Colorado! Search and rescue teams are waiting to serve you.” I'm not sure what Idaho's state slogan is, but because it's only habitable for about six weeks during July and August, a good one might be “America’s deep freeze.” One good thing is that there's plenty of free parking for everyone there.

You can’t pick up a Reader’s Digest without reading a story about another wiener brain who goes off to the wilderness or out into the open sea and later needs to be rescued. I can't feel too sorry for them, because they knew they were doing something dangerous and went there even though their mother told them not to. 

Here's a typical story from a national newsmagazine: a grocery store manager had an irresistible urge to climb a sheer rock wall in a national park. Predictably, he fell off the wall and broke every bone in his body. Dozens of people were called in to help with the rescue effort and he had to be airlifted out at great expense. Now he'll have to be taken care for the rest of his life by the rest of us. He should have gone hiking or camping instead. That’s a safer way to enjoy the wilderness, one that even mom would approve of. 

I know several people who have racked themselves up by skiing, snowboarding or rock climbing. They don't look like they're having too much fun now, living on painkillers and hobbling around on a cane.

Another thing: are these folks picking up the tab for the helicopters, medical personnel, National Guard troops, police and ambulances that are required to save them from their own stupidity? Somehow I think I know the answer to that…

In every recreation area in America there are park rangers posted to keep people from hurting themselves. What we really need is a disclaimer like the old "Enter at your own risk" and it should mean exactly what it says. No lawsuits allowed.

Yes, we could definitely save a lot of money on ranger salaries by simply putting up a big sign in every state and national park that reads: "If you want to kill or maim yourself by doing something stupid in this park, go right ahead. Knock yourself out. But do so at your own risk."